How to Resolve Fights with Your Partner
Naturally, a couple will fight once they have lived long enough together. The fights might become regular when they have a disabled child between them. There are ways to avoid these fights from affecting our children and ensure that these fights do not become the essence of the relationship. We have mentioned several tips below that can help you understand the real accounts of conflict resolution. Let us get into the details!
Argue in a scheduled time
This might seem impossible, but you cannot simply fight in front of a child who is already traumatized by the entire world. We often forget that children have an acute sense of fear when they see their close ones get into a fight. Suppose you suspect that a fight might break out in front of your disabled child and that too in front of him or her, you have to schedule the fight so that the child does not have to witness it. Do not deny that you have to go through conflict resolution. Just avoid getting into it in front of the child!
Accept Your Feelings
There are times when taking care of a disabled child becomes too tough for either of the parents. One of them might put in more effort, which leads to the growth of resentment. We should be allowed to accept our feelings rather than burying them. Once we have accepted our weakness, the chance of growth comes on quite easily. The urge to change the narrative entirely on your basis will vanish automatically when you have started to accept your feelings.
Improve Communication
We have to start making an effort to communicate. This will come in handy when talking to our child, who is disabled and utterly confused about the argument. The skill of communication can help to avoid a huge number of conflicts. When we face some problem with our partner about the state or care of the disabled child, we have to communicate with him or her in a manner that they feel comfortable talking about it. This becomes essential for the needs of the children suffering as collateral damage. We have to be very specific about our complaints as well. This can help to improve things.
Stop Assumption
Make sure that you are making up ideas about the thoughts and intentions of your partner while you are thinking about your disabled child. You must recognize the feelings about your partner over your child before you get into any kind of argument with him or her. You should also convey your misconceptions to the child if you realize that he or she has caught onto your feelings. This will help to keep the relationships normal within the entire family. It will also help resolve any problem that might have arisen between you and your partner.
Resolve issues in front of the child
If we have argued in front of our child over his or her disability, it is our responsibility to sort it out in front of them so that they do not have any doubt about conflict resolution. This will send a great message to the children about how they are not a burden and that their parents have found ways to deal with their issues. The children must see their guardians making up after a fight because it helps to increase their trust quotient over the parents.
Understand the feelings of your child
When you have finally resolved the fight with your partner, you both have to sit down with the child and acknowledge that he or she got hurt during the entire process. Even if the fight has been over your disabled child, you have to come clean about the behavior that you have exhibited and change your stance accordingly so that the child is not scarred for life. Children often remember the smallest details from their earlier days. One shouldn’t do anything that can jeopardize their mental development.
Assure the child about their innocence
One should be extremely careful about the effect one lays on a child’s mind. If it enters the thought of a child that his or her parents are fighting over the child’s disability, this might cause irreversible damage. You should also be careful enough to inform the child that even though parents fight at times, it does not mean that they don’t love each other or the child! We have to make it clear to the child that the argument was not their fault.
Final Thoughts
These tips must be followed very carefully when you have become parents. You should leave any kind of permanent scar in a child’s mind when he or she already has to face a huge barrier due to their disability. These tips can prove to be very helpful when you are resolving any conflict over your disabled child!